Shame in the midst of celebrations

Update (Dec): The California Surpreme Court accepted a review of California's Prop 8 (which eliminates the right of all couples in CA to marry). The court will hear arguments against the initiative's validity, primarily based on the argument that Prop 8 was not a minor change to the constitution in California, but was a fundamental revision instead (which requires a different process to change it). Equality California has up to date info. The court is expected to hear arguments in January and to issue its ruling shortly thereafter. Until the court issues its ruling, Prop 8 will remain in effect.

The US had a great victory on election night 2008, when the nation overwhelmingly elected Barack Obama as the 44th president of the United States. Obama is not the magic answer to all of our problems and he certainly does not know all the answers. But he does represent a fresh face, a new outlook, inspiration, and commands respect from the world. How nice does it feel to once again have the world view America as potentially a force for good in the world? Here in Europe, there is one story, true or not, that summarizes the sentiment. Supposedly, on the day after the election, an American was waiting for a bus in Paris, talking on his mobile phone. Hearing his accent, a French woman ran up to him and planted a big kiss on his cheek, along with a heartfelt "merci." Or put another way by the London Times today, ".. Obama's momentous victory sparked the kind of global exultation that is unlikely to be matched in the near future, unless, due to an administrative error, 150 nations simultaneously win the 2010 World Cup."

Obama's election was - by all logical accounts - an overwhelming victory. Not only did he win the popular vote by 7% (53% of the vote to McCain's 46%), but he won the electoral college by a landslide - more than double the delegates that McCain received (364 for Obama to 163 for McCain). It's also interesting how much Obama was able to move forward progress across multiple voter groups. I watched a CNN report this morning that played with various demographics to see if any one group (young voters, Latinos, etc) could claim "credit" for Obama's victory, and the data cleared showed "no". In fact, you could literally allocate every single young person's vote (those under 30 years old) to McCain and two states would switch to McCain's camp, with Obama still comfortably winning. Similarly, you could switch every single Latino vote to McCain, and a different two states would switch to McCain - again, still leaving Obama comfortably winning the election. It's particularly impressive how many of the battleground states went for Obama - when was the last time you remember New Mexico, Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, Indiana, Iowa all voting for a Democrat? It's simply unheard of. I think this all leads to the point that the country was ready, wanted, and desperately needed major change. The Senate seats up for grab? Democrats made significant progress there and will control about 57 seats out of the 100 total. The House? Significant progress made there also, and Democrats will control at least 255 seats to the Republicans’ 174.

So without a doubt, there is plenty to celebrate and be happy about. At the same time, there are some amazingly disastrous results for basic rights. Three states – Florida, Arizona and California – voted to change their state constitutions to prohibit same-sex couples from marrying. Florida was quite disappointing because it required a 60% majority in order to change the constitution and the measure passed with 62% of the vote. Arizona isn’t too surprising – it’s heavily Republican (read: bigoted on this issue) and it’s McCain home state and he vocally supported the measure within the state. California is the major surprise and the major heart-wrenching disappointment. It represents the first time ever that a state has TAKEN AWAY the existing right of gay people to marry. There are about 20,000 completely legal gay marriages in California. This vote by the residents of California – funded primarily by the Mormon Church in Utah – removes the right of marriage for gay people in California. It also introduces amazingly difficult questions and situations for those already married. The issue will certainly wind up at the California Supreme Court and perhaps eventually at the US Supreme Court also. At a minimum, those 20,000 couples married might literally be told “oops, sorry, your marriage has been reversed and the government no longer considers you married.”

Providing all citizens in a secular country with the same rights might seem like an obvious goal and mandate for the non-religious government. It obviously is not. Equal rights now ceases to be a hypothetical discussion or philosophical debate about an abstract group of people; California’s decision on Prop 8 now affects real people in California that entered into marriage honestly and with the same hopes and dreams of straight couples. To take this away from them, to tell them their marriages don’t and never did exist, is nothing short of bigoted. SHAME SHAME SHAME on every single person who voted for Proposition 8.

There is a small chance the measure will be found to violate the terms of updating the California constitution. It comes down to how materially the change is to the core of the Constitution. If Prop 8 is found to radically alter the constitution – considered a constitutional revision – then the change must be handled through the legislature and not through a ballot initiative. If this is the case, then the constitution will not be updated and the right of marriage will remain in California. Lawsuits are underway already to ask for a formal declaration. California courts already confirmed that marriage is a fundamental right guaranteed to all its citizens – gay and straight alike – so there is a chance the courts will also confirm that taking away such a fundamental right would be considered a revision and not simply an amendment.

It’s pragmatic to remember that social progress often comes in incremental steps, with the net effect positive. Sometimes there are three steps forward and two steps backwards – with the end result that there has been one step forward. Perhaps the California set back is one such step backwards. In the grand scheme of equal rights, there has already been more progress made than I had dared hope possible. I personally grew up not daring to hope that I could be comfortable in my life being open about being gay, let alone dream that I might someday marry. And here I am today, open and comfortable, supported by family and friends in my personal life and at work, and am married to my partner of the last ten years (it’s a boy – shhh – don’t tell anyone). Yet this overall approach, while helpful to put things in perspective, seems to imply that it’s OKAY for people to discriminate and that it’s hard for some people to stop being bigoted and we should all just understand that and give them time. As you may imagine, that’s bullshit.

Don’t think two men should marry? Don’t think two women should have the right to be in love and live their lives together with the same protections as other families? Then don’t do it. Marry the person you love and get on with your life. Or better still, just go away to a deserted island and live in peace the way you want to, but stay the heck away from my life. Stay away from creating laws in our civil society that actively promote discrimination. Don’t take away from people legal and societal protections to strengthen families. Don’t prevent me from adopting our nephews should something happen to their parents. Don’t forbid me from visiting Troy in the hospital if we happen to be travelling in some bigoted state that doesn’t recognize our marriage.

But while we’re talking about things we shouldn’t do, let’s talk about what we should do. Let’s focus on the religious institutions that spend their time, effort, organizational skills, and money actively promoting their own bigoted agendas in our society. Let’s talk about why tax-exempt status for these churches should be revoked - if you want to play in politics, go for it, but I sure as hell don’t want my tax money providing you benefits while you’re working to take mine away. Let’s talk about the Catholic Church and the Mormons and ask ourselves how much positive impact they could have on society if they focused efforts on what Jesus preached instead of fighting against my rights that aren’t bothering anyone – love thy neighbour, clothe the naked, feed the hungry – you know, those inconvenient and pesky Beatitudes. Let’s talk about why there are certain figures in the anti-gay movement that seem to fall spectacularly in scandal after scandal – maybe the movements attract people who have something to hide and use the bullying pulpit to make themselves feel better about their inadequacies. Like I encourage people at work to do, if you’re in a meeting and have a point to make that is inaccurate, just talk really loudly because then it becomes true if you say it enough.

Joe Solmonese, from the Human Rights Campaign, recently wrote that Prop 8 broke our hearts but didn’t end our fight. How true. The fight is just beginning – we’ve made progress across the board and it’s only a matter of time before we will win full equality with no caveats. Only four years ago – in 2004 – the “threat” from the gays was polled as a greater threat to society than terrorism. No one would seriously propose that today, and the Republicans who argued that to fire up their conservative base have been largely eliminated from relevance. We are far from gaining full equality and there will continue to be set backs along the way. But the USA has elected a fair-minded president in Barack Obama, who although not supporting full marriage equality, is in favour of separate but equal treatment under the law for a wide range of situations, including immigration, taxation, and family protections. We were mentioned directly in his acceptance speech and we will hold him to his promises. George Bush also mentioned us, in his State of the Union address when he called urgently for a federal constitutional amendment to protect society from gays gaining any legal recognition. Good riddance to you and your friends. So we are not there yet and it hurts me to ask anyone for my rights. It pains me that I have to beg and lobby for people to give me what is simply equality. But we do have the ultimate weapon– we are right. It is just; it is fair; and equality is ultimately not subject to anyone’s approval. We are living openly and showing friends, family, co-workers and neighbors that they do, in fact, know gay people. We will cease to be an abstract discussion point. And we’re pissed.

Related posts:

• Why Civil Partnerships are not good enough
• Tee and Troy's wedding logistics
• Human Rights Campaign
• Equality California