Reflections around the holidays on priorities
Posted: Fri, 26 Dec 2008, 23:33:00, GMT | 1065 views Share
In this Christmas season - particularly quiet this year since we're not travelling - I've been thinking about old friends and people who have made impacts on my life. It's remarkably easy to "live" day to day in the frenzy of the world and to spend no time in the present, appreciating how good things are. Ever since the wedding back in October, I've been thinking in particular a lot about friends from high school and college. We're scattered all over the world now and rarely see each other. How is it that people once so important and integral to my life I barely speak with? Maybe a hurried phone call here and there, a christmas card or congratulations note for a baby, but rarely any substatantive interaction.
On a recent Tube ride home, I was standing up and just aimlessly looking around. I happened to notice that a woman sitting down near me was reading a book called The Power of Now. I also noticed (yeah, I was kind of reading over her shoulder) that she was reading in a section of the book that encouraged the reader to stop being distracted by life and just live life. Live in the present. Be aware of your surroundings. Be content. I probably shouldn't make fun of her, but it did take a lot of restraint not to tap her on the shoulder and enourage her to stop being self-absorbed reading her book, and to just enjoy the moment of being in London, riding the Tube and being surrounded by all sorts of people, no doubt with many interesting stories. I found the idea of my conversation with her on this topic appealing, but not quite enough so to act on it. But it started me thinking again.
Most vividly, I remember my feelings when I learned that the priest assigned to my college campus, Fr. Charles Kelly (before he became a Monsigneur) had passed away. He was a major impact on the lives of my friends and me throughout college. Yes, he was the priest at school, but he was also the person you called when you needed some doors to magically open at school. Arrived early at campus and needed your dorm unlocked early? No problem, he could sort it out. Got in some trouble with the campus police and needed a character witness? He had that covered. He was a mentor, minister, friend, advocate, and challenger all mixed up in one. He loved the idea that I had a car at school with red light strobes and alternating headlights that could park in any space in campus. He loved the idea that sometimes I left meetings or church in a hurry when my pager went off. He loved that I had a two-way radio that I could program to "talk" directly with the fast food workers in Wendy's and Taco Bell. (Looking back on that, I do realize it was a felony to do that - apologies to anyone we confused greatly!) He even loved that he once had to "donate" his car to Mother Theresa's order when he was driving her back after some speech she had given. She remarked to him that he had a very nice car, and made small talk around how a priest could afford to own such a nice car (which was a Honda or something - not known for the super high-end of the car market). After ascertaining that he himself owned the car, it was paid for, and he only drove around town mostly, she put her hand on his arm and remarked that her order could benefit so much and do so much good if only he'd be willing to donate the car to her. He always remarked that it was a good lesson for him in humility - within five minutes, he went from being a bit boastful and prideful of his car to being resigned to taking the bus until her sorted out his next car.
What upset me greatly was that I seriously contemplated driving down from Boston to Virginia to attend his funeral when her died in the late 1990s. I knew he was sick for some time before he passed away and I hadn't contemplated going and visiting him - I was too busy and caught up in my own life. But he died? Shock! ClearIy I should go and pay my respects. It really struck me and has stayed with me since that we place enormous focus on scrambling when something like a death happens, but we forgot to live in the moment when there aren't sharp twists and turns of life.
Thomas Merton was one of Fr. Kelly's most frequently quoted authors. It turns out that Merton lived right here in Ealing for quite a while. The church bulletin a few weeks ago had a whole insert highlighting the life of Merton; December 10, 2008 was the 50th anniversary of his death. One of Merton's most famous prayers that I still remember is from his writing in the book Thoughts In Solitude. It goes like this:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that, if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Merton lived much of his life before joining a religious order. Once he did join, he spent much of his time contemplating the simple things that most of us let pass right by. His observations of the sunlight striking nearby hills, his extrapolation of how that might be God in action, and the simplicity of his observations and prayers capture the essence of what it means to live in the present. It's not complicated. It's not deep. It's just being aware. Doing it. Living in the moment and accepting the good and the bad. Merton's most famous work is titled The Seven Storey Mountain and is an autobiography, describing his early life, his conversion to Catholicism and his decisions to take religious vows as a Trappist monk. His humbleness is reflected in the intro (to some editions) that says "I seek to speak to you, in some way, as your own self. Who can tell what this may mean? I myself do not know, but if you listen, things will be said that are perhaps not written in this book. And this will be due not to me but to the One who lives and speaks in both."
There's a great example that Troy and I have spoken about much. We're both angry that many governments don't treat us equally. That's certainly a righteous anger and a worthy cause. It's also selfish. We have our basic necessities and much more. Where's our anger over homelessness in the community we live in? Where's our energy put into solving runaway teenagers? What are we going to answer when someone asks us what we're most proud of 50 years from now? It is going to be that I can file joint tax returns with Troy? Or is it going to be that we each identified and acted on some simple and straight forward strengths and we helped someone in need? It doesn't sound like a big question as to which one it should be.
One of my 2009 resolutions will be to live more in the moment, to know my priorities, and most importantly - to act upon them. I spend energy on any number of things throughout the week but probably not nearly enough focusing of my energy on the important things. Can I tell you what's important to me in my life and by which principles I want to live? You bet. Do I do enough about them so that an observer could tell you them? I doubt it. Here's to a renewed sense of focus and priorities in 2009.